L.L. Bean Alternatives: Bean Boots

Thanks to the 2016 shitshow of an election year, all us Yuppies now have to deal with this absolute garbage:

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So, sorry northeaster preppies. No more L.L. Bean for us.

Here’s a list of Bean-alternatives that we can buy hopefully with a clean conscious.

Bean Boots

Once the holy grail of winter boots, now they can suffocate under a pile of frozen cow pies. Here are some warm and waterproof boots you can try instead. Most styles available in both male and female, but I’m just going to post women’s boots, fyi.

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Sperry Saltwater Thinsulate Duck Boots ($130, sperry.com)

Almost the exact same look as the Bean Boots, with the same waterproof exterior. These variety isn’t lined in shearling– instead, it’s a “microfleece thinsulate”– but it’s also a bit less expensive.

sorel caribou

Sorel Caribou Boot ($150, sorel.com)

Available in three different colors, the shearling is removable just in case. These boots get AMAZING reviews on every site.

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UGG Ostrander Boot ($190, ugg.com)

Not gonna lie, these are shit-can ugly. But they’re waterproof, and have been tested to be pretty cozy up to temperatures of -4*F.

duck boots

Target Women’s Cover Girl Duck Winter Boots ($35, target.com)

Water RESISTANT but not waterproof; also no shearling or lining. But for $35, acceptable with thick socks and maybe a can of Kiwi Boot Protector.


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  1. Almost a year since this petty little article was published, and what’s still funniest about it is that the author is complaining about Trump being elected by way of telling people what other options there are for 150.00+ seasonal boots, while most of us real people, i’m a cop, by the way, barely afford walmart snow boots for our kids.
    While the liberals want their overpriced health care to break the country, the rest of us real people are more interested in seeing whether or not Trumps tax plan, health care ideas, and infrastructure plans will help us keep the lights on and food on the table.
    The entire liberal agenda has done so much harm to this country, but the stubborn refusal to admit that programs are failing will do tremendous more harm. You had your 8 years to ruin the country, it’s time to shut up, sit down, and get out of the way, and let people willing to work hard put things back together.
    Quit forcing your “mandates” down our throats, if you knew what was good for all, your policies wouldn’t be abject failures. Have fun with your overpriced boots that are no more adequate that several other good brands all under $50.
    One last thing to mention: President Trump might not be the polished politician that would be acceptable to you, but at least he didn’t approve the sale of Uranium to our enemies, and at least he didn’t sit on his hands and do nothing while an Ambassador and members of our military died in Benghazi, and then turn around and ask “what does it matter?”. It matters very much to most of our citizenry. Its only you elitists who think that our safety, security, and citizens do not matter.

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