I’m sure you’ve all figured out by now that I’m a functioning wino. I love almost all wine, including but not limited to: Sauvignon Blancs from New Zealand, any and all Pinot Noirs, tawney ports, and weird fruit wines.
But I stand by the ABC rules of wine— Anything But Chardonnay.
Seriously, the stuff is gross, and all that is wrong with California wines. They were kind of the rage back when I was a kid, along with white zinfandel, if that gives you any idea of how they rank on my palate.
Why do I hate them, you ask?
There are two vessels in which wine is aged: oak barrels and stainless steel barrels. I imagine that the stainless steel ones look kind of like classy kegs. The oak ones, though? Beautiful to look at, and condoned by the French. And they leech flavors into wine.
Before you vow never to drink oak-aged wine ever again, know that they do you no harm, and in fact, impart much of the flavor you are familiar with into wine. They give Cabernet Sauvignon a vanilla taste, but they make Chardonnay taste like butter.
Yeah. Butter. Like a melted stick of fruity, flowery, grapey butter. Most oak-aged Chardonnays coat my mouth and make me feel like I just drank a stick of Land O’ Lakes. And unless I am actually drinking butter, that glisteny mouthfeel is a sensation I try to avoid.
I also try to avoid the word “mouthfeel.” And “tablescape.” And I could go on, but I won’t. For now.
But according to my new favorite cookbook, this slimy taste of solidified milkfat can be harnessed for good! not evil.
- 1 1/4 c AP flour
- 1 tsp baking powder
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 1/4 lb (1 stick) butter
- 1 cup packed brown sugar
- 1 large egg
- 1/4 cup Chardonnay (I used a 2007 Lynmar Estate that retails for $30, but I got it for free, so don’t follow my lead)
- 3/4 cup butterscotch chips
- Preheat oven to 350. Grease an 8″ pan like a mofo. These things are gummy.
- Combine your dries (flour, powder, salt) in a bowl.
- Cream together the butter and sugar, and whip it good. Add the eggie and wine. Then slowly add in the dries til just combined. Stir in the butterscotch, or any other chunkies you may want.
- Pour into the pan and bake for 25-30 minutes, or until just set in the center. Cool before nomming.
These were heavenly– chewy, buttery, and clean tasting, with just a hint of fruit. Next time, I want to ice them with some vanilla icing, or dunk in vanilla ice cream.
What’s your favorite wine?